Dancing in the Streets

Dear Penn State Frat Boys,

Dude! It's me, Snarkshelf. I saw you on ESPN last night! That was you with "JoePA" painted on your nipples, hooting behind the broadcaster guy, right? So awesome. Reminded me of the kickin' time we had at the Purdue game last season. I have never seen someone pound beer bongs like that before 10 a.m. So awesome.

I know! I can't believe they fired Joe Paterno, either. That is so WRONG. I love that man. He's like God here in State College. So. Wrong.

OK, now that I have your attention, boys, let me tell you why I am really writing. I am asking you to respectfully step off the lamp post you knocked into the street last night and listen up. I am here to school you in perspective.

I know you have had some great times because of Joe Paterno and his coaching skills. But this is not about you.

The treatment of the boys in coach Jerry Sandusky's Second Mile Foundation was criminal. The way the coaching staff looked the other way was despicable. And the reaction from students in State College is horrifying. Running down to Beaver Avenue or whatever the hell you call main street over there or cheering outside of Paterno's window shows me you just don't get it.

I am a graduate of a similar sort of old State U. football place (Go Buckeyes). I was known to take part in a snowball fight flash mob or two. I remember when they aired disgraced legendary coach Woody Hayes' funeral LIVE on TV.

Post college, I spent many years reporting on both crime and sports. I followed Maryland, a place where they look for any excuse to burn a sofa in the streets, for a few years. Students similarly worshiped Gary Williams (really, if they are going to call the campus "Garyland," where do you go from there?). This was only a few years removed from Len Bias and the (rightly so) dismantling of that coaching staff, but a million miles away from the students in the mid-90s. The Terps were winning again! Yay! You da man, Gary.

I often took the unpopular side when it came to some sorts of sexual assaults. One of my big stories way back was William Kennedy Smith, who may or may not have date raped (you're familiar with that concept, right? Yeah, I thought so) a woman he met at a Palm Beach bar.

I am not a Take Back the Night marcher (though that group has never tipped over a news van, as far as I know). Yes, no means no, but it starts with women taking responsibility for not getting blackout drunk and going home with a guy they just met. Like I said, unpopular view, but it starts with thinking about yourself. I know you are familiar with THAT as you don't want to take the fun out of your beloved Saturday tailgate.

In Jerry Sandusky's case, there was no "he said, he said." A grand jury investigation is indicting him on 40 counts of unspeakable acts against children. Read the Grand Jury report. There were multiple people who saw actual acts that could not be misconstrued as anything but criminal. I had to digest it in parts because it is so horrible.

And the Penn State staff? They looked the other direction. You witness a child getting molested in the shower ON YOUR CAMPUS and you maybe mention something to someone? How about reaching in the shower room and slamming coach Sandusky into a sink and calling the cops?

Instead, they let Sandusky keep his access to the Penn State facilities and said maybe he should stop showering with kids so much.

Everyone from the top down in that football program needed to go. This isn't about football, though I do think it is going to get worse. If Sandusky molested those young boys, who is to say there wasn't a Penn State player or two abused along the way as well?

Someday, you will be a parent and you will cringe at the thought you danced in the street protesting the school's (correct) decision to fire the coach.

Someday, you will also likely live in a community similar to Fairfax County, VA, where I live. You will be a parent with high standards who lives among other parents with high standards. You will use your mob mentality and no-longer-so-youthful energy to bully school administrations over things like the grading system or closing an underenrolled elementary school or AP vs. IB and what is right for our children.

Someday, you will be a sports parent. If you found out your child was abused by a coach, you will likely try to kill him with your bare hands and not dance in the street in protest of his firing.

Someday, probably not that long from now as he is 84 years old, Joe Paterno will die. His funeral will likely be broadcast LIVE on TV. And the eulogy and tributes will be about a good man with a historic tenure and record who did a bad thing by letting things get out of control on his watch.

Like Woody Hayes. And Maryland's Lefty Driesell.

And Richard Nixon (I know, I know, you skipped American History 103 that day because it was Greek Week and the Kappas were having a party. You can Wikipedia the basics. I will wait).

In the meantime, pipe down. You have forgotten what you are protesting. Please scrub the blue paint off your face. This isn't game day.

Go back to the spot where you were last night and help clean up some broken glass. Then I want you to go to Mclanahans store, which is selling "blue out" T-shirts to wear to Saturday's game. Proceeds will help Prevent Child Abuse Pennsylvania.

Then you and the brotherhood of self-centered jerks can resume your pregame tomorrow. Because, you know, it really is all about you. WE ARE PENN STATE! Right?

Oh, and call your mother.

Sincerely,

Snarkshelf

Ohio State, Class of '86